Normalize apologizing to kids; you aren’t too big for it!
As much as you should laugh and have fun with your students, it is also important to apologize. You are fully human, and humans make mistakes. Your students are adults-in-training, and they should be able to see adults they love apologize. Listen to them. Sometimes in this job, we misunderstand kids. We are trying to teach a lesson to 30 children in the same room. There is a reason education research shows that teachers make more second by second decisions than an emergency room doctor. Sometimes, we make poor decisions or mistakes.
A colleague of mine corrected a girl’s behavior in his class, and she became furious. He asked her to step outside of his classroom. When he got out there, the student explained what she was doing. The teacher completely misinterpreted her behavior. He apologized; they went back into class. She was grateful, and the lesson went smoothly the rest of the class period.
You will have those kids that LOVE to correct a misspelled word or grammar mistake on your board or assignment or quiz. I always laugh and respond with, “Wow, I must be a human being that makes mistakes. Let me show you my college diploma!” We laugh, we move on, and it is good for rapport with the class. Don’t get caught up in the “I’m the adult…blah, blah, blah. They shouldn’t correct me!” That is just an insecurity in your teaching. Kids should see that adults can have a growth mindset just like we ask them to.
I have reacted out of anger with a child before. I always regret it. It eats me up that night when I try to sleep, but again, I’m human as are you. When I have those types of situations when I know I need to ask a student for forgiveness, that is exactly what I do. I find the student before first hour, and I tell them how sorry I am. “I shouldn’t have reacted with such anger. I just know how awesome you are, and when you did _________(fill in the blank with whatever a middle schooler without a fully developed frontal cortex would try and say or do), I expect more from you.” 99 times out of 100, I get an apology back. “Why you losin’ sleep over that, Ms. Kinder; that’s just silly; we good now!” It strengthens the relationship, and in class that day, we can both focus on the task at hand which is learning.
Showing our students vulnerability allows them to see us as fully human and gives them the opportunity to drop their own school mask in order to also be vulnerable at school, and in giving them this, you are giving them so much more than mastery on a certain standard you must teach that day. Apologize when you should.
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Katie Kinder 